Back to Basics

I get the impression we've gotten bogged down here because there was no clear idea of where things were going when we started. Now that we've got Nikki aboard, I think this is a good time to step back and consider stripping this story down to its essentials and rewrite (or at least heavily edit) what we have so far.

 

I like to think in stories in terms of arcs, so I will describe the arcs, as I see them, for each character.

 

The details below may not match what's currently in the story. I am suggesting these as avenues for a rewrite/revision, to tighten things up.

 

 

Christian was born into Thotgo. He began to harbor a grudge against the concept when his wife, Rachel, was inadvertently killed by a Hand. He acquired modified nanos from Joe, which allow him to avoid scrutiny within Thotgo. 

 

While surveying a planet near the Beyond, he discovers an unusual energy signature emanating from the depths. He recognizes it as being very similar to the Fracture.

 

He heads back to Earth to discuss this with Joe, only to find the planet in chaos, as a quarantine is underway. He manages to rescue Joe and Brian before the quarantine is completed.

 

While the three of them sort out what to do, Christian learns of Brian's unique nano configuration which, by his calculations, would overload and destroy Thotgo, were Brian to be killed while near a Thotgo hub (such as the one on Zagreb.)

 

After some plotting, he kills Brian, but it does not have the intended effect. Instead, Brian's mind duplicates endlessly within Thotgo, overwhelming all other minds within it. The Summoned are destroyed, but they've now been replaced by something worse: an angry teenager with a chip on his shoulder, and virtually limitless power. (Hey, that sounds familiar...)

 

For the moment, Christian gets away with this--no one is the wiser. Perhaps there is a bit of a mystery surrounding it, since this trio meets Jimmy, Julie, Shrike, and Mel at Zagreb, and they pool their resources and knowledge. In any case, Brian is dead, and no one but Christian knows he is responsible. They have bigger fish to fry, though: heading toward the Beyond to investigate the energy signature and hopefully find a way to seal the Fracture.

 

Christian is intended to die somewhere along the way, as a token of redemption for his character's actions.

 

 

Joe has been single-mindedly obsessed with the Fracture since it formed. This obsession has cost him his wife, his job, and his prestige. He tinkers away in his secluded home, dabbling in technology he shouldn't. The most important part of this is Hugh, an android he constructed. Because it's too dangerous for Joe to go to the Fracture himself--it is often a warzone between Thotgo and Hallian forces--he sends Hugh to gather information.

 

During one of these excursions, the Hallians manage to push a homebrew Thotgo node across the Fracture, giving themselves access to the network. All hell breaks loose, as Hallian forces begin to swarm into the Thotgo side. Joe realizes something very bad is happening, and goes on a risky journey to rescue Hugh.

 

His rescue is successful (but should be rather arduous), and in the course of this he should meet Brian, and the two of them are rescued by Christian. I think there was something in there about Joe having his own ship, but that's a detail we can probably drop for the sake of expediency. It makes more sense for Joe to send out a distress message, and for Christian to receive it, as he is already on his way back to Earth by this point.

 

At first, Joe doesn't realize who Brian is--that Brian is the result of one of his nano experiments from many years prior. This is discovered on Christian's ship.

 

In any case, the stuff described previously unfolds, and Joe insists on heading into the Beyond to investigate the signal.

 

While I think Joe survives this whole ordeal, I don't think Hugh should. Any victory should be costly to him, and taking away Hugh--the last thing he has left, his only real connection in the world--should do it. By that token, I'm thinking his personality is kind of abrasive, and that while he and Christian are old friends, they aren't exactly chummy anymore. That's one thing this story has lacked so far: strong personalities and interpersonal conflict. Obsessed people aren't pleasant. They're determined and often piss off everyone around them, or even thought to be insane.

 

So, while Joe will succeed in finding the source of the Fracture (Amory), it will have cost him just about everything. He should realize that, while he did what he thought had to be done, he has no one and nothing to go back to, to enjoy his victory.

 

 

Brian has known only war. He grew up in an area frequently attacked by Hallians, and joined the army as soon as he was old enough--in fact, he probably lied about his age and they just looked the other way, because they needed warm bodies to fight the Hallians.

 

He was given specifically-modified nanos by Joe when he was still in vitro, though he is unaware of this. They were further modified in the course of his military training, as the mental requirements of a soldier are different from those of your average Thotgo moron. The interaction of Joe's modifications and the military mods resulted in an unforeseen potential: should Brian die, his mind would be injected into Thotgo like usual, but it would replicate endlessly and take over the network.

 

Once this happens, as the result of Christian killing him, I think he should start with good intentions. He'd want to push back the Hallians, expunge them from all of Thotgo. In this, he would be largely successful. But this is a kid with a chip on his shoulder, and I could see him ruling the network with an iron fist. Controlling thoughts, wiping memories, sending armies of Hands to wipe out dissidents--it could get pretty messy.

 

I think the culmination of Brian's arc is meeting Amory, when Amory comes to Earth. Being that Amory is a Power, communicating with a vast technological network isn't beyond him. In many ways, they are similar: lacking the maturity of experience, yet possessed of vast ability. But Amory is further along in taming and understanding what he can do, and he can help talk Brian down. The final result of this should be the destruction of Thotgo as a whole. There is probably no other way to remove Brian from it completely, so self-destruction may be the only option. If we want to be nice, maybe he can upload himself into an android body so at least something of him survives. But maybe I only think that because I watch Caprica... :-p

 

 

Jimmy wanted nothing more than to be part of the Orchestra of Thotgo, but he was turned down for being "Stelnet trash." He is a bit sore about this.

 

While his friend, Julie, is trying to console him, a Hand attempts to kill them both. They're rescued by a man calling himself Shrike, and they're forced to fleet. From there, they hook up with Mel, and end up rendezvousing with Christian, Joe, and Brian at Zagreb, and the group heads toward the Beyond.

 

What is known to Shrike but not to the others is that Jimmy, Julie, and Mel are not of this universe. They are from the Magnetic Gecko universe, which was destroyed by the Bottom-Feeder at the end of that book. They were preserved because they helped keep Amory from falling into the hands of the Bottom-Feeder, so they were put in this universe with false memories.

 

Shrike will eventually give their memories back, except for Mel, who has a particular problem I will get to. Once Jimmy and Julie become aware of what's truly going on here, they know they have to help find Amory and encourage him to flee before the Bottom-Feeder figures out where he is.

 

There's just one problem: Shrike works for the Bottom-Feeder, and that's one memory he didn't give back to them.

 

So, Jimmy and Julie must convince the others to seek Amory out, who is somewhere in the Beyond. Since they already have that energy signature to investigate, they all agree that the Beyond is where they must go.

 

Jimmy, Julie, and possibly Mel will be returned to their home universe by the end of this, and get to keep their memories this time.

 

 

As I said, Mel is from the same universe as Jimmy and Julie. However, she is used as a Hand without her knowledge. This has caused some corruption in her memories. She has dreams of being a woman called Angel, who assassinates people in far-off places. She also has dreams of a life she doesn't remember.

 

Jimmy, Julie, and Shrike make her acquaintance when they escape the planet Calliope, hitching a ride aboard her ship with the intention of going to Zagreb for reasons Shrike will not elaborate upon.

 

At the time Shrike restores Jimmy and Julie's memories, he finds this doesn't work for Mel, whose memories are already corrupted beyond his ability to sort out. At a crucial moment, her full memories will return, including the knowledge that Shrike is bad news.

 

I'm still on the fence as to whether she will survive. Psychologically, she is the most screwed-up, having three different personalities in her head, and the things she does while a Hand could really throw a monkey wrench into the works. If she does survive, however, she will go back to her own universe with Jimmy and Julie.

 

 

Nikki and I were talking about her character last night. This is all tentative but I think it adds a lot to the story.

 

As far as anyone knows, Nikki was born and raised out in Stelnet. Even she believes that. However, she was born in the Beyond, shortly after the Fracture appeared. She was sent to unknowingly gather intel, and implanted with the desire to return to the Beyond once she was able. Well, it's been twenty years, and now she's ready.

 

We've decided there actually is a civilization out in the Beyond. They have surrounded all of known space with a vast sensor network. If anyone trips it, ships are dispatched to offer a choice: join or die.

 

These people are immensely xenophobic and have been so for many generations, to the point that they know virtually nothing of Stelnet and Thotgo. Those who have joined have only convinced them that the inner sphere is a place of lawlessness, corruption, and vice. There is a sort of tranquility about these people, yet there is also a sense of foreboding, that they aren't quite what they seem.

 

When Nikki returns to the Beyond, she learns about who she is and where she came from. She also learns about Amory, and realizes her people are using him for their own ends, while pretending to care for him and protect him. She is egged on in this by Raven, who is one of the three Avatars (along with Shrike and Osprey), and his intention is to return Amory to the Fracture, and simultaneously send him through it while sealing it, allowing Amory to escape to yet another universe and avoid the Bottom-Feeder's minions.

 

In the end, Nikki will have to choose to either embrace the culture of her birth, or side with the people of Stelnet.

 

 

Amory was born in another universe, a pocket realm consisting of a vast ocean and a single island, known as Infierno ("Hell Island"). The town on this island was called Body of Evidence. Yes, it's all very weird.

 

This place was an incubator for potential Powers, and the infant Amory had more potential than any of them. The events of Magnetic Gecko were orchestrated specifically to deliver Amory into the hands of the Bottom-Feeder, another Power. But the Bottom-Feeder did not anticipate the resolve of those he intended to manipulate, and they managed to convince Amory of the danger he was in and bought him time to escape. For this, the Bottom-Feeder destroyed their universe, leaving the other Powers reeling and desperate to fix the situation.

 

Those who helped Amory escape were placed in the GXM universe with false memories, a temporary arrangement until their home universe could be rebuilt and have the Bottom-Feeder's damage to it undone. The other Powers suspect Amory is here, and intend to locate him before the Bottom-Feeder's minions do.

 

Amory has tried to live a normal life among the people of the Beyond (and yes, we need a name for them.) He has taken the form of a teenage boy, and has blocked out much knowledge of his potential. When he first came to this universe, the Summoned reached out and attempted to tap his power, which terrified him so much he unleashed enough energy to open a rift in this universe--the Fracture. He then fled into the Beyond, took human form, and tried to forget about who and what he was.

 

So, he must be convinced of what he really is, what he can do, and that he must undo the damage he's done to this universe, and escape before the Bottom-Feeder can find him.

 

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And I think that pretty much covers our author avatar characters. Are we all on the same page here? Are we ready to go back and redo previous chapters to make sure all this lines up?

 

If you guys want, I can plot out the story, chapter-by-chapter, and indicate what should happen in each, and who is to (re)write it.