Chapter 5: Pressure
So, I had quite the dilemma. I had a feeling it would happen. I just didn't think it'd happen so quickly. Got my new orders, to rendezvous with the Koraxian resistance in the Nanias system--deep in the Non-Aligned Region. Ten FV jumps. But the President sent out her general broadcast for everyone to stay put.
I knew, by the mere fact I received new orders, that something went wrong. The Koraxians attacked. There was an incident, somewhere. I knew time was of the essence. Sticking around to debate the President on the finer points of her military authority would have been counterproductive.
With that in mind, I turned to Lieutenant Arnold and said, "Cut it off." Her eyes gave away her confusion. Like everyone else on the bridge, she knew nothing of our true situation. Tenatively, she reached across her console and terminated the communication.
I stood up, cleared my throat, and addressed everyone on the bridge. "Regardless of what the President says, we have been ordered to the Nanias system. Our mission is of the utmost importance--and secrecy. If you are truly fearful of President Cuerva's wrath, I can have you put off the ship along the way. But I need to know now."
I looked around to read their expressions. Commander Ramsey had his face obscured by his hand, turned away, I'm sure hiding a "why me?" expression. Ensign Yuro didn't seem that affected by it, giving me that steely stare he always did that meant "whatever you say, sir." Good kid. Collins, well, he looked nervous, but he always looked nervous. Rydia, at comms, seemed to be getting over her initial trepidation, and I was fine with that. Jenna just stood there with her hands clasped behind her back, clearly prepared to follow my orders. That just left the stations I normally didn't have to worry much about : Science, Security, and Operations. Lt. Cmdr. Albert Jones, on Science--yeah, he didn't really care. We didn't get to move into the NAR that much, so I knew he'd be able to entertain himself with some scans. Vorlano--our strange, rankless, Vorchon exchange crewman--worked over his Operations panel. I don't think he even knew what was going on. His single-mindedness always reassured me that shipboard operations would run smoothly. I just wasn't so sure about him, as a person. Other than his name and species, I knew nothing about him. But I doubted he'd want to be dropped off. Where would he go, anyway?
That just left Lt. Angelo Rivera, the go-to guy for security aboard the Protector. Again, someone I didn't have to talk to very much--it wasn't like we got boarded every day, and he always handled the details of visiting dignitaries with very little direct instruction.
I surveyed them all one last time. I got some shrugs, some unaffected stares. No one seemed particularly keen on leaving, or if they did, peer pressure kept their mouths shut.
"Good," I said. "Ensign, get us to Nanias. Keep us out of harm's way--there's no telling what we might run into along the way."
"Yes, sir." The young man turned back to his console and put in the course. I slouched into my chair and sighed. I had no idea what to expect from the Koraxians, what obstacles might impede us on our way to Nanias, how we'd fare in the midst of a battle with an enemy we didn't really know. It all weighed heavily on me, and I just wanted it over with.
"I have a course plotted," Yuro announced.
I found myself massaging my temple again. "Yeah, let's go."
I got that little light-headed feeling that hit me every time we used a fold vector. A lot more of those to look forward to today, I thought to myself, a little annoyed by that, on top of everything else.
I should have known the disorientation of FV travel would be the least of our worries that day--and for a long time to come.
Chapter 5
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Wow! Another great chapter,
Yes, it'd be weird if my
Nice. I don't have much to
"The young man turned back to his console and put in the course."
I don't like 'put in'. It sounds kind of...lazy. Maybe 'entered' or something, instead?
Short
A transitional piece... delivers effectively ... not much to say about it ...
Hmm, this needs changing, I
Hmm, this needs changing, I think:
So, I had quite the dilemma. I had a feeling it would happen. I just didn't think it'd happen so quickly.
It needs less full stops, it feels too broken up.
So, I had quite the dilemma (Also not sure about that "so" at the beginning, it's not a good way to start a fresh chapter). I had a feeling it would happen, I just didn't think it would happen so quickly.
Not much changed there, just replaced the full stop with a comma, but it flows better. That "so" at the beginning bugs me, probably more than it should. It'd be fine if this was within the preceeding chapter, as a change of thought, but here it just feels...I don't know, misplaced.
There is a feeling of this being a little rushed in places, as if you're glossing over it to get the story pushed along. I can guess that maybe you're attempting to induce that feeling, you have already stated time is of the essence, so it may be me who's wrong.
Again, though, nicely done.