reunion

We’re sitting on the beach. The day is mostly sunny, but the wind blowing in off the water has a chill edge to it. My best and oldest friend sits next to me, drawing idly in the sand with one finger. Our mothers are talking together, sitting further up the beach. Jess is telling me about her relationship problems. I’m telling her about my university problems. Both of us know that we’re only talking to keep our minds off the thought of next week.

There's this knot
in the pit of my stomach
and I know why it's there
because you were here
and then you were gone
and now you're back
but not just now

Waiting for a return
on a return
on a return
somehow it gets worse
every time it happens

And I'll never say anything
because I know
you don't owe me a thing

From my side of the door
I know I've heard this before
it used to make me feel better
but now it's comfortable
effect negligible
in the dark
on the floor
with the cold

Under northern lights
we made it through the night
where you used to watch the children
but there's ice on our feet
snowflakes under our sheets
and the river
how it runs
it never ends

In the back of a car
we played in the dark
and I first touched your hair